14 Comments
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Sean Greeley's avatar

Another great essay, Stepfanie. Bonus points for the analogous use of Kendall and Roman Roy to hammer home those concepts. A deep dive into the extended Roy family (Tom Wambsgans and Cousin Greg in particular) to futher illustrate your points would be great reading.

stepfanie tyler's avatar

Thanks, Sean. (I love Tom, amazing character LOL)

V3's avatar

For some reason, you’re the only person that I didn’t get pinged for gift subscriptions after I subscribed. Your work is great. I want to give my daughters gift subscriptions. Hopefully, I’m not being obtuse with Substack functionality. Midwest industrial complex is still my favorite article of the year.

stepfanie tyler's avatar

First of all, thank you so much, that's so kind. I really appreciate your support!

That's so strange... I wonder why. Here is the link to gift a sub: https://www.badgirlmedia.com/subscribe?gift=true

And here's the group sub link bc I offer a discount when you buy 2+ subs :)

https://www.badgirlmedia.com/subscribe?group=true&coupon=bf518be3

Let me know if you have any issues with anything. Happy New Year, V3!

V3's avatar

Terrific…thank you

Not Exactly Ana's avatar

I relate so much to this one!

Unique Nightdaze's avatar

Thank you

Steve Cardoso's avatar

It’s kind of amazing how quickly you’ll back off from your own bullshit if you ask yourself if you’d bet on it.

stepfanie tyler's avatar

Reframing is one helluva drug!

Luke Collins's avatar

Fantastic, Stepfanie - just clarifying and concise in cutting through the BS we tell ourselves to avoid necessary action. Of course, it won’t stop me defaulting to a bunch of these in the months ahead … but I’m trying!

stepfanie tyler's avatar

Ha, trying is all we can do! I hope you have a fruitful 2026, Luke!

Dina Benamar's avatar

I really appreciated this, especially the way you describe how we “talk ourselves out” of change by hiding behind tiredness, complexity, or good-sounding explanations. That idea of “calling your own bluff” feels very accurate.

So much of this self-bullshitting is actually the brain trying to protect us from discomfort, uncertainty, or perceived threat. Not because we’re dishonest people, but because our nervous system is wired to avoid risk and conserve energy. So the excuses feel real, even when they’re not helpful.

I recently explored the neuroscience behind this exact dynamic: why the brain creates these narratives, why fear and identity friction show up as rationalization, and how to design systems that bypass it. If that perspective is useful to anyone here, I shared it in my latest post 🤍