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AJ Solaris's avatar

The part about small decisions calcifying into identity is what I keep coming back to. My father had six kids, two marriages, spent his whole life working jobs he hated for bosses he couldn't stand.

He got cancer when I was 19. Before he lost his speech he told me he'd wasted so much time - should've been with his kids more and out in nature. He taught me more dying than he ever did alive. His regret wrote my life.

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stepfanie tyler's avatar

Wow, that's some powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing this, AJ. It's sad how often we hear stories like this... it feels like we'd choose a different path, but that just goes to show how hard it *is* to choose a different path.

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Alejandro Zayas's avatar

There are some decisions in life i made in the past that I definitely would've regretted. But life made me not do that, not get stuck, and I really tried. Definitely a pattern. But I guess I got lucky? God? Universe? Destiny?

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Ivan Abreu Luciano's avatar

The small choices are never small. Eventually we get older and when we see the whole picture we actually realize how big the “small choices” were.

Great perspective!

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stepfanie tyler's avatar

I guess that’s why they say we are our habits. The tiny things we do repeatedly make up a life. Better make those tiny things worthwhile :)

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Ivan Abreu Luciano's avatar

Absolutely! ❤️

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shannon robinson's avatar

MILADY. I know I’m late to the party, but this piece got me good. The whole idea that our tiny compounding choices are what actually make a life… yeah, that hit. And the reminder that this life is way too precious to waste on habits we inherited from societal expectations instead of our own free will? I felt that in my bones. I actually added this post to this week’s Sunday’s Digest. Would love if you took a look. https://theferalistpapers.substack.com/p/the-only-truth-of-life-is-death

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Sara Thomas's avatar

I love the phrase “stay in contact with themselves” - beautiful!

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Atalanta's avatar

Looking at your relatives and seeing the same cycles and regret is the best encouragement to change up your perspective or take the route no one agrees with. This is such a good piece 💫

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Marta's avatar

I feel I need to read this post every morning, great advice and great reminder to ensure we are owning our own lives, thanks hugely

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Sarissa @AccessGrantedAsia's avatar

What a great day to begin again 🤍

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Sophia Khan's avatar

Love this!

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Oct 6
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stepfanie tyler's avatar

Oh yes, I'm a bit obsessed with learning about mental models. I love that you can take what works and discard what doesn't, plus it's just so interesting to see how other people view and navigate the world. What other types of modeling are you currently interested in?

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