I have been thinking about how I would like to go in the new year. I didn't want to go with burden of resolutions. But this feels like the better option of choosing small things everyday to make life more meaningful and achieving what I want.
Sometimes I've described my life as "rearranging the furniture on the Titanic". Some of what you describe sounds like "maturity". I highly recommend aging. The older I get, the happier & more authentic I become. It really is about choices. My friends are I are experiencing letting go of being liked. No longer watering the dead plants in our lives. We have grown comfortable with the word "no". (No explanations required!) I've spent decades looking for myself outside myself. Of course she's always been here, on the inside. Duh! I love your words Stepfanie Tyler. So much wisdom, so young, plus the ability to find the right words -- to articulate. Thank you.
What is your perspective around the spiritual influence that underpins the victim mindset?... Particularly the thought that creating a savior in a story/mind/identity, automatically creates a victim.
Thanks, Dennis. I see it less as spirituality and more as how stories work. Once identity is framed around being saved or explained, agency gets displaced.
That makes sense... I wrote this piece more from a "pre spiritual" perspective (that's what I tend to do as a systems thinker, and the system I was using here was information theory). I think stories are the interface, but the underlying mechanics feel more like information flow—who holds agency, where meaning is sourced, and whether choice stays internal or gets outsourced.
I don't think we're in conflict here, actually. I think we're just looking at different layers of the same thing :)
Low key wild and very exciting to see this surfacing everywhere. I’ve been writing almost exclusively about identity recalibration and conscious creation lately, and I keep noticing more people articulating the same underlying truth from different angles. It feels like something collective is shifting. Choosing and designing life with intention is becoming unavoidable. ✨
That's awesome. I've actually been writing about this for the last 5 years, when I finally started writing my book "The Systems of Self." I was too chicken to post long form thoughts on the internet so thought I'd just throw it all into a book... but something changed about 18 months ago and I said screw it, so here I am. This was also a huge aspect of my DAILY 5 framework. I can't really take any credit though because the Greeks beat us all to it thousands of years ago lol I can only try to repackage it through my systems lens and unique worldview :)
Beautiful. Saved me a month of therapy and a great way to close out 2025. Thank you
Oh wow, so happy to hear that. I hope 2025 ends on a high note for you, Melody.
I have been thinking about how I would like to go in the new year. I didn't want to go with burden of resolutions. But this feels like the better option of choosing small things everyday to make life more meaningful and achieving what I want.
Loved the way you have written this. Thanks.
Sometimes I've described my life as "rearranging the furniture on the Titanic". Some of what you describe sounds like "maturity". I highly recommend aging. The older I get, the happier & more authentic I become. It really is about choices. My friends are I are experiencing letting go of being liked. No longer watering the dead plants in our lives. We have grown comfortable with the word "no". (No explanations required!) I've spent decades looking for myself outside myself. Of course she's always been here, on the inside. Duh! I love your words Stepfanie Tyler. So much wisdom, so young, plus the ability to find the right words -- to articulate. Thank you.
Quality piece.
What is your perspective around the spiritual influence that underpins the victim mindset?... Particularly the thought that creating a savior in a story/mind/identity, automatically creates a victim.
Thanks, Dennis. I see it less as spirituality and more as how stories work. Once identity is framed around being saved or explained, agency gets displaced.
Ah, interesting...
I see stories as how spirituality works.
Appreciate it
That makes sense... I wrote this piece more from a "pre spiritual" perspective (that's what I tend to do as a systems thinker, and the system I was using here was information theory). I think stories are the interface, but the underlying mechanics feel more like information flow—who holds agency, where meaning is sourced, and whether choice stays internal or gets outsourced.
I don't think we're in conflict here, actually. I think we're just looking at different layers of the same thing :)
Low key wild and very exciting to see this surfacing everywhere. I’ve been writing almost exclusively about identity recalibration and conscious creation lately, and I keep noticing more people articulating the same underlying truth from different angles. It feels like something collective is shifting. Choosing and designing life with intention is becoming unavoidable. ✨
That's awesome. I've actually been writing about this for the last 5 years, when I finally started writing my book "The Systems of Self." I was too chicken to post long form thoughts on the internet so thought I'd just throw it all into a book... but something changed about 18 months ago and I said screw it, so here I am. This was also a huge aspect of my DAILY 5 framework. I can't really take any credit though because the Greeks beat us all to it thousands of years ago lol I can only try to repackage it through my systems lens and unique worldview :)