this is so thought provoking and kind of writting that actually makes you question your real values and the gap btw your values and boundaries that one actually have vs they claim to do. I don't usually comment but this is quite litreally one of best read as it forces you to sit down and think underneath all the layers that you have covered yourself with unconsciously, and to decide which layer to keep or remove. overall, loved this.
Thank you for such an incisive and profound analysis. I deeply enjoyed it. And I understand how much our choices can change the course of our lives and the fact that there's always a cost.
However, it needs to be said that the word choice is often overrated. We have no say in the most important things that define our very existence.
Maybe the least underrated word is luck. Otherwise, how do you explain that some people are born into war. Some are born deformed. Some of these people don't have the luxury of choices. But some people are born into royalty.
There's never a straight way to define some of these things. We find meaning. We discover purpose. We do our best. We control what we can.
This is incredible. The part about the micro choices you make forge your identity hit me like brick. I always thought it was the larger choices that forged my identity and shaped who I was, now reading this and reflecting I’ve noticed all the ways I’ve chosen a life I didn’t want. Additionally, the step that stated removing bad habits before adding new ones is gold and something I’m going to implement. What a pro-founding read.
The point about mistaking options for agency is a deep one. There is a specific kind of anxiety that comes from trying to keep every version of yourself alive at once. Learning that a real choice requires a small death of other possibilities is a tough but necessary lesson. It means that power is not found in having infinite paths but in the commitment to walk down one.
you took the words out of my mouth!! i love this. i literally wrote on paper yesterday how i’ve always been confused if we’re meant to find ourselves or create ourselves
Identity is architecture, not archaeology’ - yes. But there’s a third mode you haven’t named: renovation. Spending a decade trying to make rooms you didn’t build hold the shape of who you are. It looks like construction from the outside. It feels like betrayal from the inside. Writing about it here - leenadalal26.substack.com. The women I know didn’t fail to choose. They chose the wrong rooms, early, and renovated themselves to fit.
I feel like I need to read this 10 more times. This is expanding and perfectly articulating what I've been thinking lately that the problems I face in my life (a lot surrounding anxiety and fear) started because I chose to let them start. Even if unconsciously. It's both frustrating and exciting to realize I can change who I am and what I believe and these things aren't static
But control does not always mean connection. We can change our minds quickly, take responsibility, act with clarity - and still remain disconnected from ourselves. Because the body does not operate at the speed of thought. It carries tension, memory, and signals that cannot be overridden by decision alone.
So perhaps the question is not only how fast we can change our thinking, but whether we can stay with what we feel long enough to understand what is actually ours
This is so good! Had the audio version on in the background, there are so many good points. I’m surprised this kind of media is free and available for so many to enjoy and connect to :))
Our choices are determined now by our conscious thoughts, but by our unconscious perception patterns. Identity those, and you’ll never make bad decision in your life.
this is so thought provoking and kind of writting that actually makes you question your real values and the gap btw your values and boundaries that one actually have vs they claim to do. I don't usually comment but this is quite litreally one of best read as it forces you to sit down and think underneath all the layers that you have covered yourself with unconsciously, and to decide which layer to keep or remove. overall, loved this.
Thank you for such an incisive and profound analysis. I deeply enjoyed it. And I understand how much our choices can change the course of our lives and the fact that there's always a cost.
However, it needs to be said that the word choice is often overrated. We have no say in the most important things that define our very existence.
Maybe the least underrated word is luck. Otherwise, how do you explain that some people are born into war. Some are born deformed. Some of these people don't have the luxury of choices. But some people are born into royalty.
There's never a straight way to define some of these things. We find meaning. We discover purpose. We do our best. We control what we can.
This is incredible. The part about the micro choices you make forge your identity hit me like brick. I always thought it was the larger choices that forged my identity and shaped who I was, now reading this and reflecting I’ve noticed all the ways I’ve chosen a life I didn’t want. Additionally, the step that stated removing bad habits before adding new ones is gold and something I’m going to implement. What a pro-founding read.
The point about mistaking options for agency is a deep one. There is a specific kind of anxiety that comes from trying to keep every version of yourself alive at once. Learning that a real choice requires a small death of other possibilities is a tough but necessary lesson. It means that power is not found in having infinite paths but in the commitment to walk down one.
wow it was such an amazing read and so eye opening
Thank you so much for this. Truly so articulate and I found it so shocking to realise how much it resonated with me 🙏 I really needed to hear this 🥹
you took the words out of my mouth!! i love this. i literally wrote on paper yesterday how i’ve always been confused if we’re meant to find ourselves or create ourselves
Identity is architecture, not archaeology’ - yes. But there’s a third mode you haven’t named: renovation. Spending a decade trying to make rooms you didn’t build hold the shape of who you are. It looks like construction from the outside. It feels like betrayal from the inside. Writing about it here - leenadalal26.substack.com. The women I know didn’t fail to choose. They chose the wrong rooms, early, and renovated themselves to fit.
I feel like I need to read this 10 more times. This is expanding and perfectly articulating what I've been thinking lately that the problems I face in my life (a lot surrounding anxiety and fear) started because I chose to let them start. Even if unconsciously. It's both frustrating and exciting to realize I can change who I am and what I believe and these things aren't static
You are brilliant, this is an incredible post!
Thinking can give you control.
But control does not always mean connection. We can change our minds quickly, take responsibility, act with clarity - and still remain disconnected from ourselves. Because the body does not operate at the speed of thought. It carries tension, memory, and signals that cannot be overridden by decision alone.
So perhaps the question is not only how fast we can change our thinking, but whether we can stay with what we feel long enough to understand what is actually ours
Everything our lives are, are a series of choices made, the beauty is the choices you make today can take you anywhere you want to go tomorrow.
This is so good! Had the audio version on in the background, there are so many good points. I’m surprised this kind of media is free and available for so many to enjoy and connect to :))
Our choices are determined now by our conscious thoughts, but by our unconscious perception patterns. Identity those, and you’ll never make bad decision in your life.
https://walkerdm888.substack.com/p/a-love-letter-to-myself-and-the-flowers?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=7w6ssx
Amen!